Feelings and fears
I was incredibly optimistic throughout the treatment. However, I wasn't aware of the effect it was to have on my partner, or on myself post treatment.
Caroline was 38 at diagnosis and underwent surgery, AC chemotherapy and radiotherapy. While she coped pretty well during treatment, she didn't realise the strain on her partner or the "lost" feeling at the end of treatment.
"For some reason I just had a gut feel from day one, that while the initial prognosis of Grade 3 Cancer was not good, that I would be fine and that this was just a wake up call to re-prioritise things in my life. That was not to say I didn't have bad days during chemotherapy (which made me incredibly sick), and then during the extreme menopause symptoms that followed, but all in all I was confident that this wasn't going to beat me.
I am sure this positivity contributed to my recovery. However, I didn't pay attention to how my partner was feeling. He seemed so strong throughout the whole period – I thought everything was ok. However, we slowly started drifting apart and I didn't understand why which only made it worse. It wasn't until a close friend mentioned that my partner had found it hard being on the receiving end of my ups and downs during the menopause symptoms and always having to appear strong and confident, that I realised the impact this has all had on him. In reality, those close to you are victims also, and while it's important to look after yourself, you do also need to be aware of the effect on those close to you. Luckily once I broached this with him he opened up (men so rarely do) and we talked everything through. We are now stronger than ever!
It's also worth being prepared for possible minor depression after treatment as happened with me. As I had been so buoyed up during treatment, I was very surprised to find out how down I felt when I went back to work. Certainly it may have been related to problems with my relationship, but talking to others it seems it's not so unusual. After months of close support from friends and those helping with treatment, it feels weird trying to get back to "normal" again. However, this didn't last long".
The recall to BreastScreen following my 2 yearly mammogram worried and surprised me.
Doreen ended up having both radiotherapy and chemotherapy but obviously looks at the funny side.
Three days later though, I registered only mild shock when, after ultrasound and FNA I was given the diagnosis of breast cancer. My overwhelming feeling was to reassure the doctor who told me and for whom I had once worked, that everything would be OK. And indeed, it has.
Operation followed a few days later with some funny stories. 'Would I like to shower' asked the male nurse the day after. He would show me how and then he left me in the shower, drip in one arm, drain in the other. I've never seen him since. I refused Heparin, because it stung my tummy. So the nurse followed me into the shower with her hypodermic – there's no where to go when you are in the buff still complete with drain and drip!
Now I know there is no truth about painful lumps and definitely no truth about no-one surviving breast cancer!
Lily was diagnosed with breast cancer on November 18, 1989. Her husband had found a lump on her left breast and it was a painful lump. They were told that painful lumps were not cancerous.
Fine needle aspiration revealed breast cancer. My road to recovery was very difficult. I thought that no-one survivied breast cancer as I have not heard of anyone with breast cancer.
I was worried. My three children were still young and at school. We had just migrated from Singapore six years ago and we had no family here in Australia. I had a lumpectomy and it was fortunate that there was no lymph node involvement.
I was still in hospital when my husband got a call from Singapore. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with 4th stage throat cancer. My husband and children returned to Singapore to see my mother-in-law. Two weeks after my own diagnosis, while I was recuperating at home, I had a call from Malaysia – my mother was diagnosed with stomach cancer – again 4th stage.
Prior to my diagnosis, we have not even heard of cancer in the family. Three cancers diagnosed in two weeks was too much. Again, my family had to leave Perth and I soon learnt to pick up the pieces.
My mother-in-law passed away while I was undergoing radiotherapy. My mother passed away soon after I finished treatment. Needless to say, it was a very difficult time for my family and I.
But we coped and now, 11 years later, I have seen our three children graduate from university, am enjoying our two grandsons and I am working part-time and as a volunteer with the Breast Cancer Support Service in Western Australia.
