"I was too self-absorbed at the time to think much about how everyone else was coping."
Women with breast cancer often report they don't have time to think about their partner much. Having some insight into what the woman you love might be feeling after she has had surgery will help you respond more effectively.
- She may be distressed if she senses you withdrawing. The feelings you have of fear, sadness and helplessness may cause you to do this to try to protect her.
- Understand the emotional effects of the disease on her. Minor things may become gigantic. She may cry and snap at you and you may barely recognise the woman you love. Recognise that little things can become big issues. Sometimes angry feelings can get spread all over the place!
Acknowledge the 'bad things' associated with the diagnosis. The treatment may make her sick. It may make her depressed. It is a life-threatening illness that she and you need to come to terms with. There is great temptation to be 'positive' but this is not usually constructive.
