Children often have difficulty adjusting to cancer in the family, especially if it affects a parent or brother or sister. It is particularly difficult if the person with cancer is in hospital or looks different. Change can be frightening for children.
You may be constantly asking children to be quiet, do extra things around the house or stay with friends after school. As a result children may behave differently to gain attention or become insecure and refuse to leave your side or that of your partner.
Helping children to understand:
- Try to understand what it is that they fear will happen. This will help you to decide what information they can handle and how it should be given
- Communicate feelings as well as facts
- Give simple, honest answers to their questions and correct misunderstandings. Children respond well when they feel they are being given time especially for them
- Try to explain what will happen next
- Reassure them that even if things are not good at the moment there will be better times
- Don't make promises you may be unable to keep
- Encourage them to play with their friends, participate in their usual activities, as this represents normality
- Adult children may have mixed emotions, loyalties and coping abilities. In some respects they thrive on being regarded as an adult, but during times of illness in the family it can be really hard going. Be aware of this and look for signs that an adult child needs a little extra support and encouragement.
For more information for young adults:
www.myparentscancer.com.au was created in response to research conducted by National Breast Cancer Centre (NBCC)* which revealed that there is a lack of online information for young Australians whose parent(s) have cancer.
NBCC* worked with a number of young people to gather their stories of living with a parent with cancer. We also consulted with a number of medical professionals who work with young people on a daily basis.
Mailing Lists
There are two mailing lists you may be interested in. We have provided below details of each of these.
- CaringParents - for parents who have children affected by illness. To subscribe, send the message "subscribe CaringParents [your name]" to listserv@sjuvm.stjohns.edu.
- CaringKids- for kids who know someone who is ill. To subscribe, send the message "sub CaringKids [your name]" to listserv@sjuvm.stjohns.edu
* In February 2008. National Breast Cancer Centre (NBCC) changed its name to National Breast and Ovarian Cancer Centre (NBOCC).
