Life after breast cancer
Experiencing a recurrance of breast cancer four years after my initial diagnosis at 38, I have learned not to waste time on irrelevant issues and making sure that I have time for myself.
My favourite motto is "we work to live, not live to work". I have learnt to slow down and say 'no'. Life goes on and no one is indispensable!
Earlier this year, prior to my recurrence, a friend of mine had an ovarian cancer scare and afterwards she said to me: "I never could understand your attitude to life. Now I do, and I am going to take more time out for myself." She has since taken a long overdue holiday, has plans to buy a new car, takes time out for herself and is making sure that she takes an annual holiday.
Events like this sort out your true friends from the 'not-so-true'. I think I am very privileged to have so many wonderful friends. They have all learnt a lot from my experience too and I have learnt a lot from them. It is great to see my female friends all choosing to have mammograms and check ups. I am open to questions and happy to discuss my experience and everyone feels at ease as a result.
I am single and happy to be so! I have a special male friend, and I believe this has brought us closer together, he too has experienced some personal issues this year and we have bounced off each other. It is very important not to become so immersed in the whole process that you forget about what else is going on.
I have tried to be there for my friends too, it can be a relief to have other distractions in your life. I believe that every day is special and enjoy it to the max. At the moment this is a little slower than normal, due to chemo recovery time, but there's something great to be enjoyed in everything we do.
In lots of ways my battle with cancer has made me a better person.
Sharyn Haryn Boyd-May - Aged 30
Sharyn is now aged 36 and still battling. She is able to find something good in every day.
"As a teenager and in my twenties I had often said "Oh! I'd like to do that one day" or "I'd love to go there one day". Having cancer made me realise that "one day" may be too late. That I should go out and do things and see things NOW whilst I was able. Cancer has taught me to LIVE my life, not just exist. So I can now proudly say that during my battle with cancer I have made the time to; Bungy Jump, Tandem Skydive, Abseil, Rock Climb, Climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge, go for a Hot air balloon ride, swim with Dolphins, travel to the USA, build a beautiful new home, organise a High School 20 year Reunion and spend numerous precious moments with family and friends.
I was always someone who kept her feelings well hidden. I was uncomfortable telling people how I felt about them - even family members. But not anymore. Now I make sure that my friends and family know how special they are to me. I make a point of telling my wonderful husband just how much I love him. I always find something good in each day and always, always find a reason to smile.
Now, enough of this chat - I have a battle to win!"
Breast Cancer gave me a chance to pursue my passion
Jenny - Aged 49
Jenny is a single woman who had breast cancer five years ago. She had a lumpectomy and a lymph node clearance. Further pathology determined the margins were not clear. She had a further more extensive lumpectomy followed by radiotherapy.
Luckily I had a few months of sick leave on half pay. I was able to use this to see me through the time I was convalescing. It was only after the radiotherapy was over that I could resume my normal activities. One of the things I was keen to resume was my salsa dancing. While I was recuperating I met a volunteer who was also a salsa dancer. Although I was not yet up to dancing, she would pick me up some evenings and I would go and watch people dance. The music and the energy of people dancing helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel. It gave me something to look forward to. As I have now become a volunteer for the Breast Cancer Support Group, I always ask someone `what is your passion?' What activity gives you joy or peace of mind. I had to wait two years before I could train as a volunteer.'
In the meantime I joined a support group for breast cancer survivors that was run at the hospital. This was a group for both education and support. I found this experience invaluable. I felt from the moment I got my diagnosis I became a member of an invisible club where we spoke a different language. Being in a support group was very comforting, as I needed to connect with other women who had gone through this experience. Besides the emotional support, we received valuable information and a variety of expert speakers on different topics. It was not a wailing wall as some people think but an opportunity to meet other courageous women and a learning environment.
As I approach the five year mark I am aware that it has taken me all this time to integrate all aspects of my emotional recovery. A few months after surgery I discovered my short term memory was impaired and I could no longer return to my old job as an Immigration Customs Official. I had been in my job for over 20 years so this news was a big shock to my system. This cognitive impairment was not related to the breast cancer but possibly a response to the anaesthetics. I had had three operations, one after the other.
I also have problems with my auto-immune system. I am a celiac and have been for many years. I realised that my current form of income earning was not appropriate for my health.
I received a lump sum payout and decided to make some radical changes in career and lifestyle. I moved from the city and went down south to an area where I grew up. I bought a small villa and thought about what I could still do - I could still do the salsa. Although I struggled to learn new information and had trouble retrieving data, I could still dance. I discovered I was very good at teaching salsa, I could explain things clearly at a simple level. This made me good with beginners. So I had something valuable to share and decided I would become a salsa-dancing teacher. I now teach a few classes a week. This gives me some extra income as well as a viable social life. Through salsa I have met interesting lively and like-minded positive people.
Competitive swimming motivated me back to being fit
Shelley - Aged 41
Shelley from New Zealand chose to have a bilateral mastectomy as she was afraid of recurrence. She also had a lymph gland clearance. As they discovered 3 positive nodes she had to have chemotherapy which started 6 weeks after surgery. At the time of surgery her two children were 3 and 8 years old so she was determined to get better.
Six months before her diagnosis Shelley had taken up Master's swimming. She had set herself big goals for the coming year. She wanted to increase her training and get really fit. She wanted to compete in the New Zealand North Island Short course championships and now it seemed she had to focus on survival. Her swimming motivated the choice of a double mastectomy as she did not want to look lopsided in the pool.
Two and a half weeks after surgery she got back into the pool and started training. "I was terrified but after 1000 metres I felt exhilarated and over the next few weeks I swam regularly." Then she had chemo. She felt horribly sick and nauseous but once again 11 days after treatment she was back in the pool." I had no energy for freestyle but I swam breast-stroke. There were moments of great pleasure as I achieved small goals. After my chemo I felt tired and drained but decided to resume my swimming training in earnest."
Four months after chemo Shelley was racing again. "Happiness consumed me as I had survived chemo and was swimming faster than before. " With the help of her swimming coach, a great deal of motivation and a passion for swimming, Shelley regained her strength and fitness.
My diagnosis forced me to get more balance in my life
Susan - Age 48
Susan had a lumpectomy followed by a mastectomy 3 weeks later.
Up until the time of my diagnosis, I lead my life at a very hectic pace. It was go go go and I lived on adrenalin. My Uncle who is a 75 year-old GP made me promise that I would take regular afternoon naps. 18 months later I am still doing that and I find it very refreshing and an opportunity to rest body and mind.
I have also taken up yoga and meditation, both helpful in teaching me how to relax mentally and physically. I have created a more balanced life style and I have given myself permission to take time out of my work schedule and do things I always wanted to, for example a painting class. I love the creative experience and I really look forward to my classes.
Another way in which I handled stress was writing in my journal. This practice gave me an opportunity to absorb and contemplate my emotions without succumbing to fear or anxiety.
Stress reduction in itself is very healing.
Jennifer - Aged 44
Jennifer is a single mum and has two teenage daughters. She had a lumpectomy followed by 6 weeks of radiotherapy. Six months later she discovered another much bigger lump in her other breast. At that point she decided to have a bilateral mastectomy.
"I did not have reconstruction as the radiotherapy had hardened the one breast and they could not guarantee results in both breasts. I always had rather large breasts and I feel quite liberated by my flat chest.
As I am an aromatherapist I decided to use a number of complementary therapies in the healing process. These included fresh vegetable juices, Chinese herbs, reiki and aromatherapy oils. I also went to see Petrea King who helped me handle stress in many ways. She encouraged me to find out as much as I could about my diagnosis and treatment and to be active in making decisions about what was done to me and when.
Petrea runs a healing centre called Quest for Life In Bundanoon. Women come from all over Australia to take her residential programs which use a combination of relaxation, visualisation and meditation techniques. She also teaches women how to trust and use their intuition, how to manage pain, dietary advice and the spiritual aspects of healing. She also teaches practical strategies for increasing health.
Petrea helped me enormously and I encourage any woman who is face with a diagnosis to go to one of her programs. Phone 02 4883 6599 Email info@questforlife.com.au
The positive outcomes are more of a surprise than the cancer itself. Doreen had both chemo and radiotherapy after vascular spread was diagnosed. I returned to work having taken only these few weeks off, It wasn't until a few months later that I really felt the anguish and emotional turmoil from what had happened to me. I became involved with the Encore group, and talking to women who had been through the same experience was wonderful. A few months later I was given the opportunity to participate in some training with the Anti-Cancer Council. Again, the immediate friendship and warmth of others on the course was like a balm.
I am involved in setting up a breast cancer support group in my town now and am more surprised by the positive outcomes of having had cancer than I am at having had cancer itself. I've made many good friends and contacts through this experience and have learned greater tolerance, understanding and empathy for people. I changed my work environment and am now involved in a maternity area, seeing the joy of new life, a joy I have been able to experience with each new day I've been given.
How I chose my prosthesis
Lesley had a mastectomy followed by chemotherapy.
It was February when I had a mastectomy. It was not until after my last course of chemotherapy in late May that I decided to buy a prosthesis. It was winter so August seemed a good time to address my self image. I was small breasted and didn't feel the need to wear one sooner.
The scar had healed well and my hair was beginning to grow back and I guess I felt like facing the world again! I went off to the Strand Arcade to a shop called Jayem where they specialise in fitting you with a prosthesis and bra. The women are warm and caring and make you feel comfortable. I also went to David Jones Elizabeth St where the women are also the same. In both shops they have special fitting rooms where you can sit and be shown all the latest garments, gadgets and "boobs". All the women attending to you have had training in this specialised area. It is a real industry!
I went with two friends and they were allowed to go through the whole process with me. It was important to have them with me, to make me feel normal.
I was not all that happy with the mastectomy bras so I chose one from the general range at DJs and took them to Jayem where they would sew pockets in them for me. I was told that most bras would be suitable to fit a pocket in. It made me feel more like me
There are different prostheses for different needs and you should check out which one is best for you. Ones for swimming, ones that adhere to your skin, light weight ones and just plain ordinary ones.
They are expensive so you need to choose carefully. If you are privately insured check out with your fund how often you can buy one and what the rebate will be. This is so important as the health funds vary a lot. Mine is the worst and so I am now taking up the issue with them!
Now nearly 3 years down the track I can laugh and joke about my situation. I have two sons in their 20s and sometimes when they are feeling low about their relationships with women, or lack thereof, I will give them my "spare" boob to snuggle up to in lieu of the "real" thing! They were an integral part of the whole process and had been the ones together with my husband to encourage me to have a mastectomy after very careful consideration of the facts given us.
I am grateful for my experience now
Marion had a lumpectomy, then a mastectomy when the results showed more tumours.
It is now 18 months since my mastectomy. My surgeon and oncologist are very pleased with my progress. Everyone tells me how well I am looking, but I still lack stamina, and get very tired. I have just retired from work, but regard this as the start of a new life.
I am on tamoxifen and experience no side effects apart from hot flushes.
I have taken up dragon boating with Dragons Abreast, the team of the Breast Cancer Network of Australia. We are Breast Cancer Survivors, and we have great fun.
From having breast cancer, I have met many wonderful people. It may sound odd, but I am grateful for this experience, and what it has added to my life, despite the tough times I went through. I was very lucky in the support my family and friends gave me.
